Who let this film get made?
Why? Why did I watch “The Human Centipede II?” Curiosity, maybe? Or maybe I just wanted to see if it was as bad as everyone says it is. Well, at least I can rest assured that it is so numbingly awful I felt actual misery at the film’s end. I hate myself along with anyone who had a hand in making this film.
Reviewing “The Human Centipede II” isn’t even worth it. There’s nothing to critique. It’s so maddeningly awful that I don’t even know what to say. I’ll try my best.
The film is basically a meta sequel to the almost-as-awful-but-not-even-close “The Human Centipede.” A mentally-handicapped man, whose name isn’t even worth looking up on Google, is obsessed with the first Human Centipede flick. He has a binder full of stills from the movie and everything. I guess he was molested as a child by his father. The amount of class this film has just exudes. Anyway, he decides he wants to recreate the film in a warehouse, with 12 people he knocks unconscious in the parking garage where he works. Who cares that this film is ravished with gaping plotholes and nonsense. It’s not even worth pointing out. The guy kills his mom at one point and sets her corpse up at the dinner table while he eats. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Again, why did I watch it?
I’m not getting into the final act of the film because it’s disgusting and I’ll just make myself depressed. I basically spent an hour and a half watching torture porn. I’m telling you, DON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE. It’s so much worse than anybody could begin to describe.
Normally, I’d give you the link for the trailer. Not this time. Don’t waste your time. Instead, here’s a link to cat pictures on Reddit.
Grade: F
Ryan at the Movies 